I don’t know what it was, but as child I would practically shit my pants at the site of a shiny, smooth rock. What was it about shiny rocks as a child that compelled me to such heights of “specialness”? I know I’m not alone here. I remember looking through children’s science magazines as an adolescent and there was always an ad for some cheap rock tumbler, allowing me to do-it-myself (ZOMG!).
The climax of such wonder-seizures habitually occurred when I stepped foot in the “Natural Wonders” store at the mall. It was an orgy of rain sticks, gyroscopes, and albums called “Whale Songs.” They even had a type of gumball machine where you could put a quarter in and donate to the rainforest; and do you know what came out? Satisfaction!
Now I see the error of my youthful ways. No more, my friend! I’ll leave the rock tumbling business to the professionals. These forward-thinking entrepreneurs figured out a way to steal three dollars from unsuspecting customers, only to fill that hole with an invaluable knick knack with which they can adorn the inside of their junk drawers. Cheers to you, my capitalist friend, but I’ve moved on to collectible spoons.
