Forgive my nostalgia kick as of late and come with me…to the eighties! I was in elementary school at the time and it was a more innocent era to say the least; a time when watching a guy in a blue jumpsuit float through the air gathered as many oohs and ahhs as seeing your first pair of real boobies.
Gee whiz, those astronauts were so cool! Look, he did a flip! OMG, he’s spinning a banana! Holy crap, he’s drinking little spheres of floating water! FUCK ME, THEIR ICE CREAM COMES IN BAR-FORM! So much excitement for such a young child, “Mrs. Roberts, may I go to the bathroom?”
Of course, looking back on it as an adult, I see how far we’ve failed to come. We’re still using that same junk-heap shuttle to launch us into the atmosphere; NASA has to take a wrench to that thing more than a Harley. The once-vaunted international space station is now a laughing stock due to its rent-control-worthy toilet. Our several attempts to gather data from Mars have come up empty of any tangible evidence of life.
And what has it gotten us? Other than velcro and a pen that writes upside-down (OMG), I can’t think of anything society has truly gained from this wasteful science other than bragging rights over Russia and China. I guess that counts for something.
In any case, the most painful element of this angry outburst has its roots firmly gripped in personal jealousy and lament. What I regret is the fact that, as an adolescent, I was never able to visit the one place where children can truly be happy. This is the single locale where smiles grow on trees and farts smell like rainbows; where pony rides cost a nickel and ice cream is dehydrated—Space Camp.
2 comments:
The sad part is, Steve has never actually seen Space Camp. I loved that movie growing up. It starred Lea Thompson (post Red Dawn and Back to the Future but pre Caroline in the City), Kate Capshaw (after Spielberg made her think she was a good actress in Temple of Doom), Larry B. Scott (Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds, his limp wristed throwing style worked even better in space), Joaquin Phoenix (before he ruined Gladiator but rocked as Johnny Cash), and 80's Mega Hottie, Kelly Preston (pre John Travolta).
The best part of the movie though (WARNING: Spoilers) is when Max (Joaquin Phoenix) befriends the NASA prototype maintenance droid "Jinx" and accidentally convinces Jinx to overwrite safety protocols to launch the kids into space.
This movie is genius and anyone who says otherwise is a pinko commie. (Apparently at one point in the script the Russian Space Camp Kids were sent up to rescue the American space camp kids. I'm really glad they cut this out because it would have made the entire movie completely unbelievable.)
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