Poor Cell Phone Etiquette Is For Chumps!

Basically you can avoid being a phone chump by having some common courtesy and respect for the people around you. Here are some simple rules to follow that will help you have better cell phone etiquette.

Unless it's an emergency, don't answer the phone when you're with other people. If you do have to answer it, walk away from the group so everyone else doesn't have to stop what they're doing so you can finish your call.

Don't use your speaker phone in public. No one gives a crap about how little Johnny got a gold star in spelling this week. Take Grandma off the speaker phone, she has a hard enough time hearing you as it is.

Use your indoor voice or go somewhere you can hear the call better. Once again, no one but your girlfriend (and maybe that waitress you met at that bar last night) cares how happy you are that the "tests" came back negative.

Turn your ringer volume down or off when you're in more intimate settings like restaurants and doctors' offices. If you can't be bothered to turn your ringer off or down, at least answer the phone as soon as it rings. I don't want to hear Snoop Dogg's newest hit blaring from your cell phone while you let it ring through to voice mail or rummage through your purse to find it.

Pay attention to the road. This includes talking on the phone as well as text messaging. Nothing pisses me off more than watching people blindly change lanes, cut people off, or make a 10 point turn to get in or out of a parking space because they're too stupid or stubborn to put down the phone.

California state law says that all use of a phone in the car must be "hands free" starting July 1st, 2008. This law is already in effect in many other states or will be very soon. This means you'll need a headset of some type to talk on the phone while driving. "Hands free" does not mean you have the phone on "speaker" while holding it four inches from your face, you retarded half wit. Put the phone down, get your head out of your ass, and get both hands on the wheel.

Hang up the phone or at least excuse yourself from the phone conversation when addressing someone in the service industry. As much as you may hate to admit it, the check out clerk at the grocery store and the drive-thru attendant at McDonald's are people too. They deserve your undivided attention as they are providing YOU a service. Don't just keep blathering away with your friend Jenny about how awesome your date with Billy was last night without acknowledging the people helping you. Besides, the only reason Billy went out with you is because Jenny told him you were easy.

And please, for the sake of whatever god you may believe in, turn your phone off in the movie theater. (Please see my previous post: Being "That Annoying Jackass" In The Movie Theater Is For Chumps!)

In the end, it just comes down to treating other people with the same courtesy and respect you would expect the... Ah crap, I dropped my phone. I'll have to get back to you later.