Thursday, June 26, 2008

Nature Is For Chumps!

(And before I begin, I would like to say that I'm not including animals as part of "Nature". Animals are awesome! Except sharks, they have big teeth, don't blink, haven't evolved in millions of years and have to keep moving so they don't die. Sharks are for chumps!)

So, I just don't get the big deal about nature. I mean, I understand we need to survive and all. The production of water, oxygen, blah blah blah. But what's the big deal about going to see some giant tree in the Redwood Forest or a trip into the Grand Canyon. You go to the forest so you can drive your man made car through the man made tunnel they carved into that tree. Or you take a ridiculous donkey ride to the bottom of the Grand Canyon so you jump into a sweet man made raft and ride the rapids. If I want to see a giant hole in the ground or a big pretty tree I can check it out on the Internet in the air conditioned comfort of my own home.

I've been to the Grand Canyon. It's OK I guess. But it's a giant whole in the ground that was accidentally carved by a river over millions of year. Whoopity doo! On that very same trip I went to check out the Kennecott Copper Mine in Utah. Now that was impressive. Man carved that whole in the ground by moving 17 Million Tons of ore plus all the rock they had to scrape away to get to the copper. It's so big that it's one of the few man made objects that can be seen from space. I guess I'm just much more impressed by things man has grown to accomplish over things in nature.

In the end, I guess it's nice that nature is there helping us to breath and eat and all that good stuff but come on, have you seen the frickin' iPhone. Suck it, Nature!


4 comments:

Steve G said...

Some nature is pretty. I like pretty things.

You may not think it's pretty, but you probably like fat chicks and have lost all credibility due to that fact, removing your opinion from consideration.

Unknown said...

1. Do not knock the well apportioned ladies out there, chief.
2. The iPhone trumps all, suck it nature boy!

Steve G said...

Get this--my iPhone didnt have any reception at the Grand Canyon. Did I just blow your mind?

Unknown said...

Nature is not for chumps, nature is awesome. Anything created by man can be destroyed by nature, making man-made objects inferior.

Interacting with nature is even more awesome, who likes to just look? Canoeing through the land of a thousand lakes, climbing a 14,000 foot peak, mountain biking through canyons, skiing down a snow covered mountain slope, or kayaking down roaring rapids. You can't do that by sitting on your ass behind a computer.