Parking Like An A$$hole Is For Chumps!

Here is a list of people who deserve to have their cars keyed, windows or tail lights smashed, or their tires slashed for their Chump moves when it comes to parking:

• Non-handicapped people that park in handicapped spaces, people that park in the red zone, or people who think it's OK to park in front of a fire hydrant. (These are a gimmes.)
  
• People that park right in front of the store, blocking the walkway/entrance (usually in a red zone, often leaving the car running) because they are just running in for something real quick.
  
  
• The guy (or soccer mom) in the giant truck or SUV whose car doesn't fit in the space. You chose to drive an oversized, gas guzzling, monster of a car. Choose to walk the extra 100 yards from the spot that your car might actually fit in. Or, better yet, get a car you can actually handle driving.
  
  
  


• The guy that parks in the "not a spot" because he's too lazy to look for a real space. Thanks for inconveniencing the rest of us by narrowing the already too tiny aisle.
  
  
• The new car owner that doesn't want door dings so he decides to straddle the line and take up two spaces or even worse pulls in diagonally or perpendicular to the lines and take 3 or more spaces. You're car is going to get dented and scratched eventually. Besides, the giant "Douche Bag" I scratch in the side of your car will look way worse than a tiny door ding.
  
  
• The guy just dropping off his rent check, groceries, a pizza, etc. that parks in MY space because it's closer and it was empty when he got there. Uh, eff you pal! I pay for that space. Move your piece of shit out of my spot and have some respect. I've had multiple cars towed out of my spot before. There's nothing more satisfying than seeing someone come back and find their car missing. I hope they learned an expensive lesson.

Just remember, as many times as your mommy might tell you, you're not special. You're not more important than everyone else on the road. Have some respect for your fellow man and show some common courtesy towards others. Just don't do what's most convenient for you and damn the consequences. Some day you may come back and find for flat tires, two broken tail lights, and "CHUMP" etched into the door of your car.