Friday, May 16, 2008

Ballads Are For Chumps(Girls)!


We're men, dammit. And men are angry. Why are they angry? Who the hell knows, but what I do know is that angry people need to listen to angry, aggressive music. What is that song you're listening to? Nothing Else Matters? WTF? I hate you. Why are you holding up that lighter, you don't even smoke. Go to hell.

Yeah yeah, I know, for every Welcome to the Jungle there exists a November Rain. We're supposed to skip those tracks and only pull them out when we're trying to get laid. Don't let me catch you listening to Every Rose Has A Thorn when there's a perfectly good Talk Dirty To Me just a few tracks over.

By the way, that also goes for anything containing the word Unplugged. You make me sick.

1 comment:

marisa said...

Even worse than holding up a cigarette lighter during a ballad is holding up a cell phone. The lit cell phone screen does not make me think of the romantic ambiance of a lit candle. It makes me think, "hey that kid is stupid." Oh how I loathe the younger generations at times.