Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Car Alarms Are For Chumps!



In this day and age, are car alarms really anything more than an annoyance? I know I don't give a second thought when I hear a car alarm going off anymore. I do a give a first thought, it's how I want to go smash in the windows of the car whose alarm won't stop, so at least it's going off for a legitimate reason. Especially when it's the fifth time it's woken me up in the middle of the night and it's obvious even the owner doesn't care that his car is being broken into anymore.

Any car thief worth his salt is going to know how to do what he needs to do before the alarm actually "alarms" anyone or know how to turn the alarm off.

The top 10 things that set off car alarms 99.9% more often than thieves:


  1. The neighborhood cat whose paw prints you find on your windshield in the morning

  2. A motorcycle or old car with loud "pipes"

  3. An earthquake

  4. A large delivery truck driving by

  5. Bored youth looking for a laugh (aka Hooligans)

  6. Rogue shopping carts

  7. Falling leaves or branches from the tree you parked under

  8. The soccer mom fumbling for the keys in her purse
    (She never bothered to learn how to turn the alarm off on the new Denali. An obvious guilt gift from the husband to save an already dead marriage after being caught sleeping with the new secretary. It was cheaper than the divorce settlement.)

  9. The jerk-off who drives by who spent more on the bass for his car stereo than the car itself

  10. A stiff breeze


Agree that car alarms are for chumps?
Click here to check out the trailer for Noise starring Tim Robbins.

Disagree that car alarms are for chumps? You're wrong.
Click here to check out the trailer for Noise starring Tim Robbins.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

If I had a car alarm, my TomTom might not have been stolen.
Chump that you mother chumper!!