Ok, Poindexter, just because you were picked last for kickball doesn't make you witty when taking a sporting event out of context. I know you still wake up in a cold sweat after dreaming that Ogre hung you on another door, atomic wedgie style. I know what you're thinking, in a perfect world Gears of War would be a sport, but it's not. Am I being insensitive? Perhaps, sigh...ok I'll indulge you...
Golf? That's just a bunch of old corpses trying to get a ball in a hole. Yawn.
Baseball? Half of those guys are fat fucks, the other half are 'roided hulks trying to whack a ball with a stick. Whatever.
Hockey? A clique of toothless Canadians waving broomsticks around in between slapping each other like monkeys? I'll pass.
Tennis? Yeah right, like I want to watch a bunch of rich dudes whack a ball back and forth with strange, Godless contraptions.
Gymnastics? What's with all those beautifully-chiseled men with their rock-hard abs and large, protruding packages? Uhh...nevermind.
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